Sometimes I wonder if I would have preferred it if she hadn't come. If things had stayed the same. They would have been worse, but at least I'd have known who I was. What I was. What was expected of me. She changed everything. I wanted life to stay the same so badly, at first. I wanted her, and the change she would bring, to stay away with every fibre of my being. It was unbelievable. But it didn't, and she did come. There is no point in wasting time over nothing. She showed me that. She showed everyone that.

Since she left, I have been listless. I feel like some cruel God has taken away my destiny, and with it my purpose and my determination. I have no goals, no aims, no targets. For the first time in my life, I have nothing to work for, and instead of the gratifying feeling I had imagined before, all I feel now is a kind of cold emptiness.

I could go on. I could tell you all about myself. I could remember, but I will do none of these things. This story is not about me.

It is about her, and always has been.

So long and goodnight.