And every time I am talking to someone about it and they tell me what they got, my results make my sincere congratulations sound so fake, and I hate it because they're genuinely not but people just assume and it's awful.

And I did it because you'll have done better in a year than I did in five. When I told you, you seemed so sad, I didn't want to make it worse. I didn;t want to make you sad. I live in fear of doing just that. When you're sad I can't feel happy, it;s like a heavy weight on my heart.

And I did it because people are always cautious. They're intimidated, or sarcastic, making snide little comments. I know I'm not supposed to let it get to me but it does and I just wanted one place where I didn't have to be anything but myself, I didn't have to please anyone and I didn;t have to have feel ashamed if I didn;t know all the answers and I didn;t have anyone to disappoint.

So I'm sorry that I did disappoint you, so sorry that I didn;t realise in time. I know I should have been truthful straight off. If you don;t want to see me this weekend or Friday then it;s okay, you just have to tell me. Don;t ignore me, don;t leave me in the dark, it would be worse than if we fought.

You're right, I was stupid to lie to you. But, if you're going to love me you need to know everything, and now you do. I can love you now with my conscience clear and I'll just have to take whatever you decide to dish out. Because peace after justice, right?

I love you so much, even if you don't believe me.